This is it!

This is it. the end things have been tough i have sheded my share of tears, staying up late at night, worrying. Well all I can say I did the best I could with the situation I was in. I wanted to give up but I wouldn't have felt any better I perfer to try than to do nothing at all at least I can say I tried at least. I know things happen for a reason. I wish my luck will change things get better. It's alot going on here all I can do is push forward. I tried to cut down my load some I need a break or maybe one of those vacations I been dreaming about.

Sunny

It's sunny outside, and you know where my favorite place to be is the beach. I been dreaming even more lately. A lot has been on my mind I just want to sleep it away, but it is known that the problems won't disappear. Everytime I wake up it's back to reality. I can't believe how fast things can go downhill, and the funny thing is alot of it isn't really my problem! Everyone needs help, needs to talk, needs money, a place to stay! Man, I never get a break. My child has been sick and it's like nobody cares its whatever I can help them with it's sad.

crunch time

It is crunch time. Things are hard. So much school work, child ill, hundreds of doctors appt, lost one of my jobs, and trying to not be stressed! I can't wait till this is all over. Right now I just hope things turn out right for me from the looks though everything has gone all wrong. It's so much going on I'm suprised I have not passed out from all this. I will keep trying ..

life

Life has taken over! Life is hard so the saying is so true. I 've heard it all my life and now I'm experienceing it first hand. Latley I have been behind on everything, my son's asthma has been acting up, my mom been sick, have school to focus on. Having two jobs also plays a roll too because it's not just that! Children is a fulltime job, And a relationship the same. Sometimes thigs can get so frustrating seems like everything is due bills, school assignments, and when one thing knocks you down everything else comes down with it. See what I have to learn is to get it together, and pull it tight. I keep a calender and my schedule is jamed tight no time to squeeze anything in. There are other worrisome things that seem to not go away.. The summer coming and I plan to change alot of things. I learned out of this expirience that you have to be happy for you to suceed. Times are difficult but it would there for long, it will pass. just have to believe.

What is wrong with people!

I wonder about people. What is wrong with them. I know it sounds mean but it's the truth and it is okay to just say what is wrong with people! I say this because there had been some issues that I can't believe can happen. Knowing some of these people, I now say anything can happen.
If you are married and you a cheating with both genders why would you get mad when the people who is not your husband gets into a relationship? What are you thinking? Stop cheating or get a divorce!
When you have five children of your own why are you at my home looking for a man that is not your husband so you can start some drama? What are you thinking? Go home with your children!
When you already have six children and you don't take care of none of them in any way, you don't have a place to stay, no car, owes over ten thousand dollars in child support..why are you still making babies. What is wrong with you? Get your stuff together!
when you are told a guy is no good you are told he's dating your friends cousin, and four other girls and he spreads all their business out ..Why do you add on to his girlfriend list and try to hide it from your BEST FRIEND? Hello your business is all over the place and your Best friend and all his friends knows your business Stop trying to hide it it's no secret!
If your man keep telling you hes coming to see you and he don't you have not seen him in 2 years no support, and he makes lots of excuses but tells you hes terminally ill and you know hes not. Whats wrong with you? Leave him stop being dumb!
There are more but I'm going to end this for now there will be another "Whats wrong with you part 2!

Life

Life isnt easy. Everyone has there share of trails and tribulations. No need to judge it is what it is. Nothing is wrong with that. It helps If you don't go through things first hand you will never learn. I like to think of everyone as being special . Life is a learning process. Life is thrown at you in different ways never the same . You know you can learn something everyday from anyone no matter race, age, religion. It's alway something all you have to do is focus it comes to you. As humans the first thing we think to do is stress we get overwhelmed and everything seems to fall apart. If we dont stress more work gets done , and we will feel alot better. . thank god for that!

In Love

Have you found that one person who completes you? I have My man is like a breath of fresh air. when Im with him I'm automatically on vacation. His dreamy eyes mezmorize me, and every decision I make he supports me. all in all he completes me. I really feel like he is the one you want by your side, the one who can tell you it's going to be okay an it really does! The one I can cuddle with all night and play with all day. He can be serious and gentle at the same time he is the greatest man ever, and I got him. Every stormy day he makes fade away. we have each other's back and that what it is. He is the one!

Decisions Decisions

I have made a decision! I'm going to leave this job.. I just don't know if I can stay for two weeks. I just want to be released from this job. It's like I'm trapped in a bad dream and I can't wake up. I have noticed I have been better since I have not been though. Everything has been messed up dealing with this pain. I'm going to play it by ear I know I will be okay. The Lord has my back always and I will rely on him. Because of this job I used to cry almost every night just because I would have t go. This is hard but I dont want to be in this anymore I have to get insur on my own now, but I don't care. My baby said it's going to be okay he wanted me to get another job first, but I cant take it here it has me so depressed I can't look for a job like this I got to let this go.

So fed up!

I have this job I really dont like.. I spent months making sure I was on top. I work in collections, and trust me I know it's crazy. I want to just quit. Sometimes I find myself just not going because I can't pull myself together to do so. It started when I had a manager who would talk about their employees to other employees which caused drama, but I made it through that too I just stayed to myself. Then I went to day shift and I really wanted this. I ended up on a team of older people who had years with this company.Unfortunatley we are a team but not team oriented at all. When I made this move so did a co worker from my old team as well. I knew things wouldn't be right when the team would make a lady cry, and the manager wouldn't do anything she would actually talk about her to her friends which are her employees under her. I don't like the job , but I was trained, and I perfer to put my best foot forward if I'm going to be there well while doing that my manager decided to tell me that what I had was luck! that really bothered me because I worked hard. It isn't easy trying to help someone and they are cursing you out or having to explain to a customer that you can't help them in no way while they are struggling through this bad economy! After that I felt why work there.. So funny I can miss so many days and still be #1 or #2 on the floor helping my other team mates by carrying our team numbers so we have a better average. Now my manager is asking me to come to work and do all this stuff telling me my team needs me..it's a perfect time to tell her to use her luck to he HER team because I'm through! Here it is and I have not been to work all week. This job stresses me very bad, when I go home I think about the job, I can't sleep at night , and have been very depressed because I have to go. It hurts I fel I been sick because of the high stress levels I endure. I been thinking about writing up a two weeks notice, but wondering if everything will be okay. I'm going to think more on it.. I just know I can't do it.

So behind

My goodness I'm so behind and got to catch up. It seem like everything is coming all at once. Between doctors appointments, home,school, and both jobs! So much going on.I learned to take one thing at a time. Other than stress take my time. That saying when it rains it pours, and it has poured down. I'm ready for whatever comes my way. Im on my way to a new life/ a new world. I see change is good hard to adjust at times, but it's for the better. I really didnt know what to blog about really just that Im behind and it's a mess.

Friends

Do you know who are your true friends? Would you say most your friends are males or females? well for me it's a mix for me. I do realize that sometimes friends grow apart. I can say I have grown aprt from many of my friends. One friend I have I'm not sure how long we will be friends. We don't talk on the phone, She distant well we both are she knows there are things that I feel are not right that I wouldnt do so she finds someone who does those things she does. We been friends for years sometimes I don't want to be bothered with. My other friend very mature doing things for herself and we hang out talk on the phone and its no drama! As you grow you will beging to find who your friends are and a true meaning of friends.

popcorn

Have you ever went to the movies after dinner and still had to have that buttery popcorn? I do, when I go out to the movies i have to have some popcorn! I dont know what it is, but I got to have it. I work in a movie theater you would think I would not like to eat popcorn. I think that butter salt smell sucks you in, tricks you into buying popcorn or I just may be greedy! I know Im not the only one out there who feels the way I do. Getting popcorn and a drink is a must it doesnt matter if I just came from dinner. I love popcorn and a movie.

just one of those days

Have you ever had a day that was all on its own. This type of day is like no other typical bad day you have had. My day started off on the rocky side I woke up very tired, I was dragging. I only got up so my children could enjoy the beautiful day. The next thing was I was running late I knew things was going to be rough, but I kept a positive mind set I said to myself its going to be a good day. As soon as we got to the mall my keys were locked in the car. I had to wait almost 2 hours before the people came to pop my lock. By the time everything was over the mall was going to close soon , we went out to eat, and unfortunatly I got home late very late.. I was so upset I just wanted to go home and go to sleep!

Warm weather

I can see it now .. clear skys, sun shining, fresh breeze blowing across your face. I'm talking about warm weather. The kind of weather where you dont need a coat to go outside, not even a jacket. I get so much energy when its warm. Seems like everyone's smiling. Warm weather makes you want to sit outside and relax. It also makes me want to grill! Make some good lemonade and sweet tea, create a fresh garden green salad, fire up the grill and stay outside all night. I love to get some shrimp and crabs, and watermelon! Its the best thing ever. Right now I just sit back and wait for the day I can let the children run loose in the yard and listen to them play while that nice bbq smell is in the air.

Why bother

Sometimes I wonder why bother.. Lately we been picking up the slack for other people, and it have taken a toll on us. I would never believe stress can cause so many wrong turns.
My home isn't my home anymore it's like a stranger has control. I cant buy groceries for my house because if I do he will eat them, and my family wont benefit from it. Hes home all day to use my water, lights, food, couch, yard, everything. He don't even keep that area he sleep in tidy. I'm so sick of extending my hand and getting messed up at the end. Left with nothing after he just drained all he could from us. This is a sad situation. I know you wonder why don't I kick him out.. well the truth is it's my fiance's brother, and he was suppose to leave the beginning of Feb, then mid Feb, now he don't know when and yes it is driving me crazy. I know he wants to help his brother an that's not the problem but he takes advantage and he really don't appreciate it. I just want my house back. Unfortunately, this has caused some arguments between me and mine, but what can I says we both sick of it and cant wait til its We have had to waste money eat out just so he don't eat all the food. Cant wait till its over.

Children shows

I have two children, and during tv time I sit them down with a snack and they watch children shows. These shows are very interactive as well. My children has learned some spanish, and chinese! I like to moniter what they watch and I like sticking with disney channel, nick jr, pbs kids(noggin) these channels have wonderful children shows. I see a difference in my childrens problem solving skills as well. they love these shows. For the most part they are singing and dancing along. these are very positive shows. I found that children who watch these shows learn different languages , colors, manners, alpahbets, numbers, some history and science. The shows are great!

Disney world

I want to go to Disney world so bad! Im going to start saving my money for the ultimate trip. I want to spend this time with my family. My son and daughter will love it! It's the perfect place for a family, fun for all ages. I want to see the castle just like I see it in the pictures , lite up an so pretty. I need a vacation. Vacations sounds so good. I lay back and dream of the day I can take a stress free vacations. boy life would really be good.

Potty Training

My son is two years old and potty training started off great, but when we got off track he went back some steps. I heard potty training boys was tough. What my son don't know is how tough mommy can be. I'm going to start a consistant schedule for potty time, and getting him to tell me when he has to go. I spend so much money on pull ups and I would love to buy the cute little boxers too! I know he will get it it will take alittle time and patients and dancing when he does use the potty. So far I been viewing tips on the pull ups site and its been great.

My First place

I want my first place to be spacious. Iwant to have my home built or the home I choose I want it to have potential. I would like to have enough space for me to expand. I want a huge backyard, nice size front yard because I love entertaining guest in the summer throwing bbq's! I would love huge walk in closets and spacious rooms. I have to have at least 2 bathrooms and 3 to 4 bedrooms. I want a huge kitchen because I love to cook. I can see how I would like my house which makes me so excited. I want to add my own personality to my house and this time I will not have anyone living with me. My house will be my house. Thats why I want to take my time save money and be on a great house search. I find mysel watching house hunters and all the decor shows on hgtv and I love it. By the time I find my house I will be an expert in hgtv updating! Im pretty excited. My children will be so excited as well.

love ones to intruders

I let my boyfriends brother live with us for a little while. It was only suppose to be only for 2 weeks at the most. It's been over six months. He has no job, no income at all. He sleeps on my sleeper down stairs. Lately thing have taken a turn for the worst. Hes running the bills up, he cant contribute and all he does is talk loud late at night run up and down my stairs. Come on everyday all day. I feel like I'm losing it. I want him to leave. He eats all the food. This makes me not want to buy food or even go down my own stairs.. He gets mad when we say we trying to cut the bills down. For example my heat causes my light bill to shoot from 0 to $500 and up a month I'm sick of paying this high bill and it's mostly because of him. I wonder what people are thinking. he sits in the house everyday, plays the game, play on my pool table, surf the net eat and sleep when he wants and I have two jobs!! I'm paying the bills and he walks around like he pays the bills. It's very nerve recking for me, and I have children. I just cant wait till he's gone. Maybe if I write about it I can deal with this issue better. lately it's been terrible.

Shopping!

One thing I love to do is shop. I can be out all day. That's one reason I love to have my second job. I love to make money and what I have is what I've earned. When I go shopping the atmosphere is so breath easy all I can think about is how nice that's going to look on me. I like unique things nice color. I go for a different look, but not to extravagant. I like different looks for different moods. Now I have children It's fun to shop for them as well. When I'm down I take a dose of shopping even if it's window shopping it makes me feel better.

Emonie & Armani

Armani is a little man. He is two years old. He is a bit taller than other toddlers, but he gets his hieght honest from his daddy. Armani loves to play he is full of energy. His favorite tv show is the Mickey mouse clubhouse. He knows the songs and the dances. His favorite food is mac and cheese, greenbeans and corndogs with chocolate milk! He has a very silly bone always laughing and loves to smile for pictures.
Emonie is My little twin. She look just like me . She is five years old in kindergarden. she is daddy's little princess. Emonie is more laid back she likes to play with dolls, making crafts, and having tea parties. Emonie favorite food is chicken, greenbeans, mac and cheese, and pizza rolls. She loves orange soda. Her favorite tv show is hannah montana she lover the disney music and kids bop. she is a very goofy child as well and loves posing for the camera!
Both are very healthy eaters. they love yogurts, salads and plenty of fruits. It's amazing seeing them. They are so wonderful and mean so much to me I love my little bundles of joy!

My sister, My bestfriend

My sister is beautiful! She is very smart, strong minded and fun. She is my bestfriend. Her name is Benae. When life gets me down and I need a friend she's always there to listen. I know she will never leave my side. She always have my back and I always have her's. She's like my twin. This dosent mean we agree on everything, but that never gets the best of us.We act so much alike it even amazes me at times. My sister is funny, outspoken, friendly, and daring. We have so much fun together. When it stop snowing we are going to see daybreakers! We try to have girl days once a week.2 weeks ago we went and got our hair done, and our nose pierced. That is one daring act we have done together. In my opinion sisters are great it's nothing like family. I love my sister!

School

School is great. This is my first online class and I'm excited but nervous at the same time! My goal is not only to pass this class with an "A" but to enhance my writing skills. So far I'm doing perfect and I want to keep it that way. It has been a challenge working two jobs, having children, and a load of housework! I'm making it though. Trust me it takes a great deal to stay focused and organized. After this I should be able to hold down a full schedule. With a new job I will be less stressed and can take on more. I watch my online class everyday so I wont miss anything. I can say I have been doing well with it. I know this is just the beginning, and I cant wait until the end so I can really see how well I handled this class.

Emonie's Birthday!

My daughter's birthday will be here before you know it, and finding a theme is becoming difficult. My baby will be 6 years old. I have some ideas. I want to create something different. My son's 2nd birthday I really put in work I was very creative and it was so fun creating this birthday party. I want to do the same for her. This year Im thinking of inviting her classmates instead of having a mini party in her classroom. She is very excited.

Summer breeze

I love the summer. When the summer comes I feel so excited and happy. I feel like nothing can go wrong. The days are long and full of fun. Playing outside with my children and hearing the sweet sound of the ice cream truck as it comes around come the corner. Seeing the little faces light up with joy as they run back into their houses to empty there piggy banks. Just as the evening comes heading out to the beach. Feeling the warm summer wind blow through my hair as I walk down the strip filled with people and smiling faces. Entertainment on every corner with the shine of bright lights from the surrounding stores. The beach is full of life, it's so much to see and do there. Grabbing a bite to eat while listening to the live band play. The end, walking along the boardwalk listening to the quiet waters and watching the mysterious waves go back and fourth. Even when its time to leave; the ride home is also exciting. The music playing, the children smiling as they share reflections of the beach and how much fun they had, and feeling the warm breeze swish throughout the car. This night could last forever.. the summer breeze.

On a search for new beginnings

Have you ever worked somewhere you just didn't like? I do collections, It has it's advantages and disadvantages. the disadvantage of this job is the pressure to reach goals that are not always achievable, and when achieved its never enough. The managers always say it's like the lotto sometimes you get lucky sometimes you don't. Everyday I hear sad stories, and people cant pay anything, but I have to continuously push them for a payment they may not have. Not only that but we have too dig deep into there personal business sometimes to find out how they are paying there other bills , and I feel that isn't right. Its one thing to advise them of the payment plans we can offer, but these same people gets calls everyday or every other day from 8am to 10 pm . Majority of the clients are so mad they yell and scream at you just plan old rude for no reason, and I have to fight to let them know that I'm trying to help. What makes my job ten time harder is the incomplete information the company wants you to follow, but the managers don't know exactly how it works and mark points off your calls say you need more coaching, but later in the month or the next month you find out what you did on the call was perfect, but now when you try to go back to get that last call corrected the manager don't want to go back and now they have a different reason why you were marked off for the call, but they cant explain it.
The advantage is I have a job, it pays well, I am able to work the morning shift so I'm home early, and I have benefits. I have my own desk with my own personal space. Their is a cafe in the building, and the company allows my to contribute to different charities, and volunteer work . There are not many advantages, and as I been told their is always something you don't like about your job. I feel this job is above that. The funny thing is I'm doing well at the the job, but I don't care to much for doing it.That's why I'm on a search for new beginnings. I have to fined something I like to do.

New Life

I believe anything you want to be you can be. Any mountain that comes can be climbed. See having a positive attitude really allows you to see the bigger picture of life. Life can be anything you want to be. The perfect life you see on Tv. That can be you. Confidence is the key, putting in alittle work, and having strong determination. Its works. Now dont mistake it you will have ups and down but what will you choose? I choose happiness, and life!

Fun Fridays

After a busy work week I just need time to unwind and spend time with my family. Every Friday I try to host a game night! Our game night consist of tournaments in Wii sports. First we play some bowling to get started which it never fails I always Lose, but I'm getting better. My 5 year old daughter beats everyone in bowling. Then we play some table tennis..I'm good at that! We also play some boards games. I love to keep the laughs going.

vacation, vacation

I Dream of a relaxing vaction.. Somewhere with warm climate. A tropical island.